Mediating Matters
Transforming Life’s Challenges from Conflict to Harmony
Mediating Matters is a collaborative and constructive approach to dispute resolution of all types. The goal is to facilitate better communication in order to reduce stress and conflict. Unlike the traditional court-based approach, or out-of-court negotiation between two adversarial lawyers, Mediating Matters is about choosing conversation over conflict in a therapeutic setting. We are interested in finding a shared resolution that enables the best path forward for everyone involved. Lawyers may offer advice, but you are the expert in your own life, determining what you need in order to find peace.
We ease the journey by focusing on motivational respect and constructive not confrontational dialogue no matter the challenging situation. Our team of experienced and professional mediators and counsellors/coaches believes that even in the most challenging situations there is a path forward that either repairs relationships or disconnects them, in order to minimize pain and maximize understanding to be able to move beyond being stuck.
While it is never easy, a challenging situation does not have to be adversarial. By engaging in facilitative conversations that guide negotiating respectfully allows parties to reach balanced agreements that strengthen peace of mind.
Depending upon your situation Laurie Ponsford-Hill, PhD and her associate’s tailer their services to offer private communication counselling, coaching, two-party mediation on-line or in-person or multi-party restorative mediation as well as workshops and training sessions.
Separation and Divorce Counselling
Parenting Plan Mediation
Co-Parent Counselling
Blended Family Counselling
Therapeutic Parenting Time
Restorative Mediation
Voice of the Child
Reunification Counselling
Coaching
Alternative Dispute Resolution
Court Documents
Workshops and Trainings
Our Team
Moira Cook
About Moira
For about a decade, Moira practiced law at a prestigious downtown Bay Street firm, specializing in estate litigation, which often involves resolving family disputes over money. Throughout her legal career, Moira participated in numerous mediations, skillfully settling disputes without the need for further litigation. Her extensive experience in estate litigation has provided her with a deep understanding of how to negotiate settlements, draft comprehensive agreements, and anticipate factors that courts consider during trials.
Moira’s background as a lawyer has equipped her with the skills to navigate the complexities of the legal system, emphasizing the benefits of mediation to avoid the hassle and expense of courtroom battles. Transitioning from law to psychotherapy, Moira brings a unique blend of legal expertise and psychological insight to her mediation practice. She recognizes the intense emotions that accompany family and personal disputes and leverages her dual expertise to facilitate effective resolutions.
Trained to handle mediations with a focus on identifying common ground and overcoming sticking points, Moira works diligently to achieve outcomes that all parties can accept. She specializes in family disputes, including divorce and estate matters, but is also open to exploring mediations in other areas.
Moira holds a degree in Sociology, a law degree from Osgoode Hall, and a Masters in Counselling Psychology, making her well-equipped to handle the intricate dynamics of family and personal conflicts with empathy and professionalism.
Specializations:
- Family Disputes
- Divorce Mediation
- Estate Matters
- General Mediation Services
Qualifications:
- Degree in Sociology
- Law Degree from Osgoode Hall
- Masters in Counselling Psychology
With her comprehensive background, Moira is committed to providing mediation services that are both legally sound and emotionally supportive, helping clients navigate their disputes with clarity and compassion.
Moira Cook, LL.B,
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
CRPO 17662
Laurie Ponsford-Hill
About Laurie
The Counselling House, has provided mediation services for many years under the supervision of Laurie. Laurie has provided mediation as well as through the Ontario Family Court System in London, St Thomas and Sarnia.
Throughout her mediation career, Laurie has provided couple, family and organizational/workplace mediations involving complicated matters of conflict, skillfully settling disputes, without the need for further litigation.
Laurie is an Accredited Family Mediator (AccFM) and Arbitrator through the Ontario Association of Family Mediators and the Alternative Dispute Resolution Institute of Ontario (ADRIO). Laurie holds mediation certifications from the University of Western Ontario and University of Waterloo and is a Certified Anger Management and Domestic Violence Specialist.
Laurie is a Registered Psychotherapist, social worker and marriage and family therapist and holds a Master of Divinity and Pastoral Care and is an ordained minister.
Specializations:
- Family-couples disputes
- Landlord tenant disputes
- Elder disputes
- Church disputes and Christian based mediation
- Workplace conflict
With Laurie’s comprehensive background, team of specialists in psychotherapy, social work, law and finance, The Counselling House is committed to providing mediation services that are both legally sound, emotionally supportive and financially fair.
Zohar Romm
Legal and Family Mediator, Psychotherapist
About Zohar
As a psychotherapist with a background in legal and family mediation, I employ a compassionate therapeutic approach to resolving conflicts. With years of experience in both mental health and mediation, I help families and individuals navigate emotionally charged disputes, from divorce and custody arrangements to broader family disagreements.
Psychotherapy allows me to create a supportive, neutral space where all voices are heard, ensuring that each party feels understood and respected. Through a combination of empathy, effective communication techniques, and conflict resolution strategies, I work to achieve solutions that prioritize emotional well-being and healthy relationships.
I am committed to helping families find peaceful resolutions, focusing not just on the legal and family dynamics of mediation, but also on the mental and emotional needs of everyone involved. My goal is to guide you through difficult times with care and understanding, so you can move forward with clarity and peace of mind.
Family Mediation
Mediation is a voluntary, confidential, non-adversarial approach to dispute resolution that succeeds by facilitating parties as they work together to generate their own solutions. Having an open conversation in a safe environment allows participants to better understand what really matters.
Family mediation works through issues of separation such as, custody, and access if there are children and/or pets to consider and financial separation issues. In family mediation a memorandum of understanding between parties is created which documents the agreements made between parties. This document can be further expanded into a separation agreement.
Family Counselling
Family counselling bring parties together that are in conflict due to any reason or concern. The family can be composed of children, teens, adults, extended family, parents, grandparents, or aging parents.
The goal is to facilitate conversation in order to gain clarity and work through any presenting issues of concerns in order to gain understanding and provide a means to move beyond conflict and support health relationship moving forward
Separation and Divorce Counselling
Many people believe that relationship counselling is about working on the relationship in order to resolve issues to keep the couple together. However, there are times when it is too late to work on resolving the conflict because the couple has moved beyond that place and it is time to separate.
By attending separation and divorce counselling the couple has the opportunity to explore the issues that has led them to this place in order for both to understand the need to be able to move on and come to terms with the new realities of life and what separation and divorce will mean going forward.
Separation is about creating a new behavioral contract between parties in order to understand what the roles and responsibilities will look like going forward. This can be as simple as a conversation in order to gain understanding, or a more in-depth process depending upon complicating factors, can be working through the process of creating a memorandum of understanding to create a document of agreement as to how the separation is going to unfold, and/or the creation of a legal document of a separation agreement.
Co-Parent Counselling
At times it is a difficult task for parents that have separated to be ‘on the same page’ in order to co-parent. When this happens, children suffer the ramifications of parents in conflict. Co-parent counselling offers parents the opportunity to sit down together to discuss a better way forward in order to be able to best support one another as well as their child or children. Having a safe place to discuss issues and/or concerns allows for the opportunity to have an outlet, gain understanding, have a non-biased third party available to help come up with different options in order for co-parenting to work the best for everyone that it possible can.
Blended Family Counselling
Being a member of a blended family can be a very difficult task. It is important to be able to not only understand the responsibilities and obligations, but also to be able to maneuver effectively in what can be a very challenging and on-going life circumstance. Blended families can be composed of many different members, such as, children, teens or adult children from a previous relationship, in-laws that have needed to move in, adult children that have needed to move back in, friends of family members that have needed a place to stay, or other family or non-family members.
It is important to be able to work through rules and responsibilities, have a process for resolving conflict and be able to work through unforeseen circumstances such as sibling rivalries, divided loyalties, trust issues and alliances, to name a few.
Blended family counselling offers tailored therapeutic techniques and the understanding of family systems to ensure that each family member can be an effective, engaged and supportive member of a healthy blended family.
Parenting Plan Mediation
A parenting plan is a comprehensive agreement that clarifies ho the parties will co-parent once a separation takes place. It clarifies questions and parenting time, the child’s living arrangements, schedules, decision making including extra-curricular activities, religious upbringing, and health care concerns.
A parenting plan reduces conflict, fosters a positive and on-going co-parenting relationship and supports the emotional and mental well-being of the child or children.
A parenting plan is a document that can be negotiated at any time that there has been a change of circumstance in which it is important to evaluate the effectiveness of what has been planned for the benefit of the children as well as all parties in order to make sure that schedules are supported and the parenting plan is as effective as it can be.
Therapeutic Parenting Time Program
Our therapeutic parenting time program is designed to help parents and children re-establish a positive connection that is safe and healthy. At times the connection between parent and child can become strained, broken or even severed. This can happen at any time in a child or parent’s life due to many different circumstances. The child can be below the age of 10, a tween, teen or even adult child of a parent or an elderly parent.
It is important to have a process in which parent and child can connect and learn how to interact, feel valued and understood.
In this program the therapeutic parenting coach meets with and supports parents individually as children, setting the appropriate boundaries in order to support both parties effectively during sessions bringing both child and parent together designed to foster more positive interactions and connections.
Restorative Mediation
Restorative Justice Circles provides an effective approach when dealing with issues that are hurting other members of a team or family. When disputes arise within a group, in a family or at work, we host restorative justice mediation circles to ensure that all voices are heard. By enhancing mutual understanding, members can reach a consensus that balances the needs of all parties.
Situations that arise when one or more members have a different understanding of the role, and expectations are not being met based upon the needs of other members, a restorative mediation circle can provide a valuable place to air grievances, as well as create a new plan of action for all going forward. Situations that arise such as drug and/or alcohol use or abuse, stealing, lateness or not following obligations are situations in which members can feel that they have tried everything but nothing changes or members begin to ‘walk on eggshells’. This process provides the opportunity to engage in an effective restorative process to bring clarity to the situation at hand, how it is effecting others and allow for change to occur.
Voice of the Child Report (VCR)
A Voice of the Child Report can be a helpful tool for parents as well as the court process when there are questions or concerns about making parenting arrangements for what is in the best interest of the child or children.
It is a non-evaluative report in contrast to a custody and decision-making report. A VCR is a written report prepared by a trained professional who interviews the children over the course of several days in order to learn about their individual concerns, wishes and desires for their lives moving forward in response to the new reality of the separation process or whenever circumstances have changed since the separation process began.
This report can help all parties understand the children’s perspective and it can assist parents in creating their parenting plan. It can assist judges in making parenting time arrangements as it can provide them with information the best serves the needs and wants of the children.
The process can lessen parental conflict as well as shield the children from conflict as it allows information to be shared from the report in order for all interested parties to see the situation through the children’s eyes. This can help work towards child-focused solutions for parents, lawyers, mediators and/or the courts.
A report provides a structured and unbiased avenue to ensure that children have a platform to share their feelings thoughts and desires with out fear of repercussion or misunderstanding. Because it is the children that are often most affected by the outcomes of these legal decisions it allows legal systems to prioritize the children’s perspectives and make more informed, compassionate and fair decisions that truly consider the best interest of the child. It also allows the children to feel heard and taken seriously, be an instrument of emotional support so that they can feel valued and understood.
The Process
The process begins with an interview or interviews.
The information gathered is then analyzed to provide clear, unbiased representation of the child’s view and perspectives without external potential influences.
The final step of the comprehensive document is to lay out the findings from the interview and analysis.
Reunification Counselling
There are many situations in which there have been separations such as, adoptions, jail sentences, divorces, in which children or adult children or family members have not been in contact for a long time, and may not even remember or know the other party because they have never even met them.
There are times when individuals within a family system have been separated, whether for a short or long duration of time. Reunification Counselling prepares parties to come together to discuss worries and concerns individually or within the family system, and prepares both parties to reunite within a safe and therapeutic space.
Coaching
To better enhance well-being, our team offers coaching in areas such as communication skills, emotional self-regulation and preparation pertaining to stressful situations, such as preparing for court, discussions with managers, disciplinary hearings, having difficult conversations, etc.
We provide practical skills to help cope with stress and work on presentation skills in order to harmonize the self throughout the challenging situation.
Alternative Dispute Resolution
Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) seeks to assist speedy resolution of situations which may arise between landlords and tenants, interns and practicum sites, neighbours, services acquired or any conflict that arises between individuals that you are looking for a resolution method for that you would like to circumvent escalation of the conflict or having to go to court over.
ADR offers the concerned parties a forum to represent and discuss problems before a neutral third party.
Court and Legal Documents
Attending court processes is very stressful and can be quite overwhelming. Completing court and other legal documents can be difficult to figure out not only how to fill them out but also figuring out what documents need to be filled out. We provide a service to help you navigate the court and legal system.
Workshops and Trainings
As a facilitator, Mediating Matters develops and provides workshops related to effective communication and managing difficult conversations, strengthening teams, respectful workplace and harassment prevention, emotional intelligence, conflict resolution and mediation, etc. We also provide integrated conflict resolution and educational workshop-style group interventions. We can organize trainings and workshops specific to your needs such as, working in high conflict situations, conflict resolution skills training, conflict management for leadership, problem solving and communication, mediation skills training, conversation circles, group facilitation, working with diverse personalities, workplace transition and change, etc.
Trainings, Workshops and Classes
Anger
Facing an angry or “difficult” person can feel overwhelming. This workshop explores an approach and a set of tools suited to quickly defusing angry or ‘difficult’ behaviour positively – safely, balancing both care and respect.
It is easy to feel overwhelmed in the face of another’s anger or ‘difficult behaviour; we want to feel safe and respected and at the same time we don’t want to be uncaring. The workshop explores an approach and a set of tools suited to quickly defusing a person’s angry or ‘difficult’ behaviour.
Anger can be frightening, whether it comes from a school-aged child or a teen. In fact, anger is a call for help. This workshop will explore the causes of anger, the needs it fulfills for the person, and then will move on to specific tools to help a child/teen de-escalate/respond to anger at each of its four stages – beginning with frustration and ending with rage.
TOPICS TO BE EXPLORED INCLUDE:
- What makes a person angry?
- The emotions underlying anger
- What an angry person wants
- Understanding Anger
- Anger and the body
- The anger arousal cycle and recognizing the signs
- The four stages of anger
- Responding to Anger
- What makes anger scary
- Preventing escalation (turning off the gas)
- Techniques to respond to each of the four stages
- Understanding our own and other’s anger
- From enemy to ally in thirty seconds or less
- Looking Beneath the Behaviour
- Five Tools to Diffuse the Five Stages of Anger
- Self-Care in the face of Difficulty/Anger
Problem-Solving
Conflict is a natural part of every relationship. A healthy relationship helps to resolve those differences in a positive way. This “how to” workshop introduces approaches, tools & techniques that lead to win-win solutions. Differences, or conflicts, are a natural part of every relationship – whether with your clients, your co-workers, your friends, or your family. A healthy relationship is one that resolves those differences in a positive way. This workshop is a “how to” course, designed to introduce and put into practice ideas and tools which lead to win-win resolutions.
TOPICS TO BE EXPLORED INCLUDE:
- What makes a conversation “difficult”?
- the challenges of disagreement
- passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive behaviour/communication
- changing another person’s behaviour in 30 seconds
- moving from conflict to collaboration and consensus building
- positions, interests, and win-win solutions
- creating S.M.A.R.T. agreements
- Win-Win Communication
- Listening so people will talk: Active Listening (a.k.a. showing you “get it”)
- paraphrasing and reframing
- Talking so people will listen
- “I” & “Let’s” Statements
Having Difficult Conversations
How you communicate determines whether you get stuck in a conflict or move through it to a positive outcome. This “how to” workshop provides an approach and specific communication tools that lead to positive results.
Differences, or conflicts, are a natural part of every relationship – whether with your clients/customers, your co-workers, your friends, or your family. How you communicate determines whether you get stuck in conflict or move through it to a positive outcome. This workshop is a “how to” course, designed to introduce and put into practice ideas and tools which lead to win-win resolutions.
TOPICS TO BE EXPLORED INCLUDE:
- What makes a conversation “difficult”?
- the challenges of disagreement
- four responses to challenges
- passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive
- introduction to win-win problem solving
- Win-Win Communication
- communication and self-esteem
- the connect & empower “two-step”
- listening so people will talk: Active Listening (a.k.a. showing you “get it”)
- paraphrasing and reframing
- talking so people will listen
- “I” & “we” Statements
Feed Back and Change
Giving feedback and requesting change can feel stressful. But it doesn’t have to be. We will explore an approach and techniques that make the experience positive for both the person offering and receiving feedback and/or requests for change.
Offering feedback and requesting behaviour change – the only thing that can be scarier than receiving them is to have to give them. “How will they react!?” “How will I react!?” For many, giving feedback or requesting change is so stressful that we don’t do them until the problem has become too big to ignore. This makes the situation even more stressful. As well, if we wait too long, it usually comes as a complete surprise to the person receiving it, because they have been doing the behaviour for a while and nobody told them it was a problem. So, they need to be done. But how??
TOPICS TO BE EXPLORED INCLUDE:
- What makes people feel uncomfortable giving feedback & requesting change and receiving feedback and requests for change
- Increasing a person’s self-esteem through requests for change
- Effective Feedback: Open & Closed Suggestion Sandwich Techniques
- Requesting Change Collaboratively
- Setting Boundaries Assertively
Building Self-Awareness and Interpersonal Skills
One employee’s behaviour or style can negatively impact a team, department, or an entire organization. Yet simply removing the person may not solve the problem and can be even more costly to the organization. This series of one-hour sessions can be tailored to meet the specific needs of the employee to support their growth in self-awareness and interpersonal skills.
TOPICS TO BE EXPLORED INCLUDE:
- building alliance with colleagues and direct reports
- interpersonal communication
- active listening, I/let’s statements
- conflict resolution
- collaborative win-win problem solving
- requesting change
- team building
- emotional intelligence: self-management, changing personal narratives, building effective working relationships
- leadership styles and when to use each
- problem solving specific issues – encountered before and during the coaching
Interpersonal Violence: Harassment and Bullying
In our present cultural climate, it is essential to ensure that your workplace is respectful and harassment-free. But what does this actually mean for employees? What does this look like? This interactive workshop includes small and large group discussions, scenarios, games & activities, and communication techniques practice. Beginning with an exploration of the difference between friends & co-workers and how we can make the workplace inclusive for everyone, the workshop is divided into two main parts (which can be presented independently or together).
Part 1: Boundaries
- Defining & Identifying Harassment – Discriminatory and Personal (a.k.a. bullying))
- What are the elements of harassment
- What are the 13 grounds of discriminatory harassment?
- What is/isn’t bullying
- When disrespectful becomes harassment
- Difference between conflict and harassment
- Responding to Harassment
- What are the elements of harassment
- Government Regulations and Organization Policies and Procedures
- What is/isn’t bullying
- What are the rights and responsibilities of employees
- “But what do I say???!!!” – Setting Boundaries
Part 2: Relationship Safety
- Introduction to Conflict Resolution
- What makes conflict “difficult”
- Managing Conflicts Collaboratively
- Requesting Behaviour Change
- Win-Win Problem Solving – moving from adversarial to interest-based
- Communicating toward Resolution
- Listening so people will talk: Active Listening – reflections, summaries, reframes
- Talking so people will listen: Inclusive Expression – “I” & “Let’s” Statements
Self-Care
The challenges of work and of life in general can be overwhelming. And just as often it is hard to remember to breathe, let alone to take care of ourselves. Self-care is key to being able to do life well. Sometimes we feel that taking care of ourselves is selfish, but the truth is we need to be in a good place in order to take care of any one else in an effective manner. Exploring the challenges and solutions in an educational and fun way, areas we will explore include:
TOPICS TO BE EXPLORED INCLUDE:
- What makes a “Team” effective
- five principles of an effective team
- Styles of Team/Leadership (and when to use each)
- facilitative, participatory, and directive
- Balancing the needs of the Team and its members
- tools to ensure team members feel valued and empowered in their workplace
- Effective Communication
- communication and self-esteem: alliance and empowerment (in seconds)
- ensuring interpretation matches intent (getting it right the first time)
- Team Creativity and Problem-Solving
- moving from debate to collaborative exploration and win-win solutions
- Morale Boosters and Keeping on Track
- The humour habit
- How to stress less and achieve more
- Tools and Techniques for (Re)Building a strong team
- games and practices to increase/improve understanding, empathy, and trust/respect
Professionals
One of the central goals for all helping professionals working with youth is to increase the self-esteem of our clients. As well, we want to support our clients to grow and change. But how do we ensure that our clients experience these two goals as neither creating dependence nor a sense of abandonment? This workshop explores a practical approach and tools that can be applied to areas ranging from daily interactions and problem solving/planning to program development. We will also touch on related boundary-setting and burnout-proofing techniques for service providers.
TOPICS TO BE EXPLORED INCLUDE:
- Understanding the difference between care giving and care taking
- Exploring foundations of self-esteem and the role of the service provider
- Increasing clients’ self-esteem and capacity
- Supporting change without creating dependence
- Managing complaints
- Heath, happiness and the billable hour
- Burnout Proofing and Self-Care
Healthy Families
The workshop explores ways to strengthen and increase healthy family communication. Communication can be the path to a positive functional and loving family. Yet it is not as easy as it appears. We bring habits from our past that move us away from positive family-centered communication to power struggles and raised voices. In this workshop, we will look at approaches and techniques to help step out of power struggles and instead build strong and beautiful bridges with extended family as well as children/teens.
TOPICS TO BE EXPLORED INCLUDE:
- Communication as an exchange of gifts
- Non-verbal Communication
- Verbal Communication
- Listening so kids/teens will talk
- meeting your family member where they are
- inviting your family member into an alliance
- Talking so family members will listen
- clearing the path to where you want them to be
- strengthening your alliance vs. power struggle
Conflict in the Family
Conflict between parents and children/teens is normal. It is how those conflicts are resolved that determines the health of family relationships. This workshop explores the sources of family conflicts and specific approaches and tools to resolve them positively.
The workshop will also touch on effective responses to anger, an introduction to family meetings and behaviour contracts, and conflict prevention
TOPICS TO BE EXPLORED INCLUDE:
- What makes a conversation “difficult”?
- the challenges of disagreement
- passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive
- behaviour/communication
- Win-Win Problem Solving
- requesting behaviour change in 30 seconds
- moving from conflict to consensus building
- Win-Win Communication
Raising Self-Esteem
The goal of positive parenting is to help raise our children’s self-esteem and their abilities to grow and develop toward adulthood. We will explore a child-focused approach to consequences (versus punishment) and look at a number of techniques to both maintain healthy discipline at home and to increase your child’s self-discipline.
This workshop will explore an approach and tools which will strengthen your child’s self-esteem, increasing both their connection to family and their sense of personal accomplishment.
TOPICS TO BE EXPLORED INCLUDE:
- Working with anxiety and worry
- Exploring foundations of self-esteem and the role of parents in our children’s
- Increasing a child’s/teen’s self-esteem and capacity
- Supporting change without creating dependence or a sense of abandonment
- Burnout Proofing and Self-Care
- Encouragement & Feedback
- Planning & Follow-Through
- Assertive Communication & Boundary Setting
- Contracting & Consequences
